My hands fill themselves with all of my doubts
weighing down my pockets when I dip them into my sides,
pulling on my shirt and i’m tumbling down
to the bottom of myself.
i can not breathe
i can not think as these thoughts come rushing in,
like a boat being tossed from wave to wave,
being pulled from thought to thought
and then i find my home 
at the bottom of the abyss.
not in one piece 
but at peace.

Sometimes it just 
washes over me
and i feel like i might drown
in the flood of my memory.

the waves of regret
and all i have repressed
is finally catching up to me.

The trauma lies dormant
until my mind finally quiets 
into a moment of silence
when the sun says goodnight

in the comfort
of my own bed sheet

Watashi ga mada 20-sai made
fuko ni natte inunara,
watashi wa jibun jishin o koroku
tsumoridesu.

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